the smack factor

Went to Highline Ballroom last night to see The Last Goodnight (bye?)   I always get irked when I see a band that is far and away less talented than a now defunct friend’s band.  I’m not saying TLG was baaaad… I’m just sayin’.  Ok, truly though, I know I’m hyper critical and I know that I can be negative.  And when it’s a band that’s on a certain label I always feel sort of guilty for being down on them, but this is sort of unavoidable.  How about I put the evening’s impressions in bullets to take away the sting?

• I was craving a glass of wine.  So I ordered a Cabernet. It was $9.00.  Anytime that I have to stand and drink a glass of wine surrounded by sweaty Long Island teenagers, there best not be a 9 in the price unless it’s 89 cents.  NINE BUCKS for a glass of wine that tasted like sutter home’s cardboard coffin edition.  Now, when you’ve picked yourself up off the floor, get ready for the next bullet
• 7.bucks.for.a.bottle.of.Bud.   Listen up, Highline, it’s hotter than the inside of the towering inferno in there, the lighting is nice, the space is pretty cool, but where oh where do you get off charging seven bucks for a BOTTLE.  OF BUD!  Give me a lapdance with that domestic and maybe we’ll talk
• It was so hot the lead singer, Curtis, was dripping and flinging sweat through his wannabe Joel Madden suit.  Why that’s the wannbe you’re aiming for, I dunno
• What do these guys sound like, you ask? Here’s my equation:
  [(Maroon 5 - vocal talent/lessons)*the muppets+(dashboard confessional -[real emotion/whining+believable lyrics])]^negative energy band with an overcompensating frontman = you got it

See, I’m trying not to be negative.  The “first single off of our second album” was actually lipsynced at one point and I would put my money on it.  If that’s the way you roll, that’s cool.  Maybe next, they can open for Ashlee Simpson and they can have a sync off.  The winner gets vocal coaching.  I’m just sayin’ if you can’t hit the high register, don’t take the esophogeal funicular there.