I woke up to Factor telling me he found his hat. He looked so cute and kissed me on the shoulder before heading out the door. This gave me a chance to fall back into sleep until the construction woke up me. i should really thank them instead of wishing death upon them because they very well could be the sole reason I don’t sleep depressively until 1:00P or later every day. Just think of how much skinnier I’d be too, missing at least 2 meals and just being horrible.
Lucky for you all, that isn’t how I do. I padded into the kitchen, stepping over the garbage can lid, and i saw a very daunting sight. The kitchen is a disaster. With a capital poop. Dishes are everywhere, leftover containers are piled up, empty wine glasses are stagnating because neither of us could go near the smell of alcohol yesterday. It’s like the kitchen of Augusten Burroughs in here, complete with a handle of tequila (thanks Nate!)(r). I need to clean it, but it’s such a pile. I’ll tackle it in 10 minutes. Because really, isn’t cleaning up my life more important?
Today I did some serious reaching out. Propelled by the fact that I am no longer receiving unemployment. Does that make you gasp? Yeah, imagine how I feel. It’s less throw up, more surreal – like “is this really me? is this where I am right now?” Imagine having 5 bucks in your accounts and no future deposits in sight. That, my friends, is my life right now. And today I’ve decided to lube up my throat, do some gargle exercise, and swallow my pride. Because when it comes down to it, what is more shameful and embarassing? Asking friends for loans or going to temp agency to get some hourly work with the potential for permanence so you can keep up the facade to your family that you’re not in bad shape, just not in the best shape. exactly. My friend CRV said that if you can ask for cash and get it, that’s less of a pride sucker, but i have to disagree 
. With a smile. And seriously, where is the shame in temping? Who do I think I am that I’m so above that?
You do what you have to do. Period. People do this stuff all the time. And who knows, something amazing could blossom out of it, and I could find myself in a world of well paid, rewarding work happiness.
which is why tomorrow i have a meeting at a temp to perm agency courtesy of a Factor friend (well, I’d consider her my friend too), and I’ll also be calling a gig setter upper courtesy of naterkane, and I have another call with a temp placement agency courtesy of Mr Internet. As for my interviews and followups and second interviews and followups with companies 1 and 2? Your guess is as good as mine. I followed up my face off up until the end of the year, when company #1 has off in its entirety until January 2 (today) and company #2 has been slightly hedgy and unresponsive. Both will get calls and emails tomorrow (gotta give ‘em some time to breathe on their first day back) and I think I’ll have to get the hint after that, right? Otherwise, they’re going to have to start paying me for my fulltime job of following up with them. I’m trying not to get too blue moon about it, but the disappointment is pretty weighty and it’s seeping into my tear ducts like dirty bomb dust. It stings.
The prospect of even answering the phones all day is uplifting enough. I’d rather not hhave measly pay, but if measly is what it is, I’ll take it.
