the smack factor

It’s Friday. Friday is the day you’re all supposed to sign with relief as the minute hand slowly makes its way around the dial of death, eventually leading you into your weekend. And weren’t the weekend made for michelob? Perhaps. I swear I have said this before, but this week and the end of last week have been some of the most intensely pressure filled spans of days I have ever experienced. I’ve finally found TWO companies that really twist my sister and both have been nudging towards the final moment, both have asked for my professional references as a last step, and both really feel deep in my soul like perfect fits. Both companies have the environment that I desire, and both roles, while completely different, are challenging as all hell. It’s going to be a hard choice if an offer is put on the table by both. I’m so close I can feel the brazillian wax appointment looming (dear god, I can’t wait). I can actually feel the relief creeping of beginning to pay down my debt. Notice I said down, not off. It’s going to take a while to get back on my feet, but at least I’ll know rent is coming in.

Money aside, I am so geeked up to go into work with a smile on my face knowing that I’ll have responsibility and ownership for actual THINGS that people will see and touch. I’ll be able to point to something and say “I worked on that” or “I wrote that”. I can’t wait to forget what time it is because I’m so into a project I’m working on. I can’t wait to love what I do again. People who used to work with me know that there was a time where I loved my job, i’m not pooing on the experience i had and everything I learned from the positive and negative around me. I’m not discounting any of that. But there comes a time when the bad really does outweight the good and sort of darkens any happiness you can squeeze out of a moment. I know a bunch of you can empathize as we speak. There is an environment out there where honesty really is preferred above spin, and people say “it’s a buttload of work” and CEO’s are free of arrogance and really want someone working for them with a heart and a hot brain (and an adorable face. I keed!) and seemingly limitless energy. There are places where it isn’t cool to wear jeans and it isn’t different. It’s normal.

I can’t wait. When/if I get either of these jobs, I can’t wait to post my list of things that I always said were important to me (ethan always encouraged me, before hunting for a job, to make a list of what really is important to you in your next step and then prioritize it and decide if you can let any slip down in trade for others, or not). And part of that list is going to be a little bit of a “see!” to people who thought that maybe, just maybe, I had no idea what “real life”is all about.

Keep those fingers crossed, that karma flowing, and the juju jumpin’ because I do believe I’ll have the final answer, Regis, mid week next week.