You know what happened to thought, don’t you?

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You know what happened to thought, don’t you?

February 1, 2008 by smack

HE thought he farted, but he shit his pants.

That’s something my freshmen year in high school boyfriend’s dad used to say, and so he would say it too. Rational or not, logical or not, these are the thoughts I’m thinking

I never should have moved out of my parents house as fast I as I did
I never should have moved to nyc
I never should have stayed with my group in IBM as long as I did
I never should have gotten drunk at my graduation party
I never should have stopped waitressing at Greenwoods
I never should have worked at IBM
I never should have left Ohio
I should have been a total wet noodle yes man at IBM so I could still be there and hate life but at least be paid
I should aim lower
I never should have believed anyone who told me that I am so skilled and so hireable, because I am obviously not
I never EVER EVER should go with my gut and listen to ANYONE about thinking positively. sorry folks, it’s the dumbest level of thinking out there. The “power of positive thinking”? Abandon it, it’s a total shit state of unawareness

have a day

Posted in bullets, depression, disappointment, life is a bowl of suck, rejection, thoughts, venting, writing as therapy | Tagged disappointment, life sucks, nyc, ranting, rejection, thinking, unemployment, venting, writing as therapy | 12 Comments

12 Responses to “You know what happened to thought, don’t you?”

on February 1, 2008 at 4:24 pm mtbrooks

jesus fucking christ. Now I’m depressed.

Power of positive thinking is a euphemism for “if you work too hard i’ll have no choice but to promote you and you’re already doing the bulk of my work, so keep wishing.”
on February 1, 2008 at 4:25 pm smack

ah crap, well - there is only room for one of us in this pit of poop, so you can’t come in.

I think my next post will be “other ways to say ‘think positively’”.

Could be funny.

Actually, might make me laugh.
on February 1, 2008 at 4:52 pm minnie

holy crap. did some fuckwit give you a less than stellar referral?! if so, that person will burn in hell. totally unacceptable. that just isn’t done.
on February 1, 2008 at 4:55 pm smack

no, it wasn’t a person, it’s the actual company. the recruiter for the startup that was SO VERY INTERESTED in my said that if I had come from an agency or a startup with the same credentials they probably would have moved on me. however because I worked at a huge corporation like IBM, psychologically they can’t get over the cultural difference.

What a sad limitation they’re putting on themselves. And what an uncontrollable piece of me - i literally can not do anything about my past experience, which is chock full of stuff, however, it’s what’s holding me back. And i can’t change it.

This is the sorriest state of affairs ever.
on February 1, 2008 at 5:31 pm Robin

Lately I’ve wished I hadn’t survived the accidents and overdoses. It’s a little better today. It’ll end badly, but maybe not today. Peace.
on February 1, 2008 at 5:35 pm smack

gosh boy that sure put me in my place! I’ll never give attention to my own problems again! gee wow!
on February 1, 2008 at 5:41 pm mtbrooks

Wow. That’s a really insecure company - so worried about their culture that they pass on a qualified person so as not to challenge their fragile idea of who they are.

I went from a huge fortune 100 company to a 25 person startup that prided itself on culture…which sucked, because they took themselves so seriously and tried to fake the hip, web 2.0 culture. I then moved to another 25 person company with an authentic, creativity based culture. Huge difference.
You might have dodged a bullet.
on February 1, 2008 at 5:46 pm smack

the more I’ve been thinking about it (or should I say overanalyzing it) today I’m tending to agree with you on that end. If only to feel less like I’m the turd in the situation.
on February 1, 2008 at 6:06 pm mtbrooks

I work quite a bit with IBM now, and it seems like nobody ever sees each other and they spend their entire lives on conference calls and not really doing anything. So being a wet noodle there would probably lobotomize you.
on February 1, 2008 at 7:29 pm another wet noodle

That is so discriminatory! It’s like saying they’re not going to hire you because you grew up in Ohio and that’s just “so culturally different” from NYC. I love how some people just think they are so the shiz that they can say idiotic stuff like that to people and think they can get away with it. But karma baby, it always comes back with its bitchslap. They are going to hire some suckass from a startup who will squander their funds and take three hour lunches in the copy room with the CEO’s teenage daughter. But maybe that’s what they meant when they were looking for someone more culturally similar.

Seriously, I wish people could just tell you no without feeling like they had to give you some bullshit answer. (”No, it’s not you, it’s ME!”) Jerks.
on February 1, 2008 at 7:30 pm smack

suckass!! That is the best scenario of the future i can think of
on February 3, 2008 at 5:10 pm MrsTwink

Its a good thing my power of positive thinking is keeping me from taking it personally that you called it crap!

yay positive! (hope you didn’t just vomit… because honestly, its hard not to make myself vomit with all of this positivity crap)

Oh! And btw - I do know what a Twink means… but it was something that J discovered AFTER I created this lame nickname. Who knew? I was just trying to stay with the whole “twinkie” theme. I didn’t think I was calling myself a young gay man. Whoops!