The hostess cupcake
March 15, 2008 by smack
Howdy from Cali! Just got out of the best shower ever and thought I’d drop a little post on you from the great wild West. Jet Blue can bite my ass, first of all. It was stiflingly hot on the plane for 6 hours. And the “meal” was a “snack” - chocolate chip cookies. Thank GOD I asked if there would be a meal or I would have flipped my chicken. I bought a sandwich before boarding so that I wouldn’t get all sweaty and angry with hunger. The funniest thing is how they spin the fact that you get tortured via sustanance witholding - the copy was like this:
“we could give you that same ole airplane food, but we wanted to do it differently - choose from ALL OF THESE SNACKS” and GET THIS. Lorna Doone cookies are saved for “long hauls.” Those cookies better be filled with Manwich if they’re for the long haul. Oh oh. And the sell a blanket pillow combo for 5 bucks. Because that’s what I want for my apartment. Airplane blankets and a pillow constructed of horse gas.
I didn’t sleep mainly because Rob&Big was playing on my seat back TV. Of course I had to watch because I feel like I’m definitely going to run into them today. Today,you ask? My fabulous host (after stuffing me full of guacamole last night and the best omelette EVER this morning) is taking me to Venice Beach today! Bring on the freaks! I’m so excited. Oh, hang on, I should plug in my camera battery…
…. k, back. Did I mention that last night Melly Mel and I shared an airmattress under the coziest blankets and “fell asleep” to Benny Hill. I’m serious. So anyway - the sun is out, it’s a little chilly, but I am still wearing a summery dress damn it. On deck today is Venice Beach, In n Out Burger, and perhaps a little nightlife.
I hope Factor is surviving all alone in NYC. 
Planes are getting hotter! I’m sure they always used to be cold, I’d have to take a nice warm top, but these days you need to be in your finest beachwear to take a flight. It can’t be too sell more drinks, as even the ones with free food and drinks are too hot. Maybe its some kind of clever subconscious message to you that you’re responsible for extra global warming by taking that flight.
Anyway hope you’re having fun in LA.
First of all..does it really take 6 hours to get to california?? It took 5 to get from NY to Paris!
2nd why do they not serve meals?? We got 2. Although from my experience, you are not missing out. On our flight home they ran outta chicken when they got to me since I was in the last row and so I was stuck with fish. Ew, plane fish.
Tell Rob and Big hi! I’m jealous you are in California. Sooo jealous, I’m on a little vacation of my own. Valerie went home for the weekend and gave me her room. I have a whole room to myself!! It’s just wonderful, but it’s no Hollywood.
LOVE YOU!
My husband is a pilot so i understand your plane troubles. I hope your trip home is cooler. Your job sounds too fun, thanks for updating us!
Smack,
A long flight is definitely worth a trip to Cali! I took a 13 hour flight to Germany from LAX and it was death! Good thing I am here for 13 months. I miss my home in Murrieta, CA and most of all the beach. So, live it up for all us homesick CALi travelers and enjoy the greatness of In and Out!
I noticed that too! Planes are getting warmer! It’s strange! Are they all scrimping on AC?
It bugs me that planes don’t serve food anymore to regular people, but first class-holes still get their champagne and caviar. It always shocks me when I walk past first class on the way out and all the seats are in such disarray, like they had a wild party, blankets and empty glasses strewn all over the floor, magazines aren’t even back in the seat pocket…anyhoo, wouldn’t you gladly pay an extra 5 bucks for a planet ticket if you knew you could get some real food out of it? There’s really no reason why they shouldn’t serve food anymore, I think they are just lazy. I mean at least on JetBlue you get something. Other airlines don’t give you anything for free. A giant cookie for 4 dollars? I don’t think so.
I dont know if they are scrimping on a/c. The a/c in a jet runs off the engine. when not in flight ,they run the a/c off the a.p.u. An airplane cools much slower than a car. They would save some fuel if they dont run the apu, but the airlines themselfs are not rolling in the money. with the new laws they have to pay much more for more screening. the price of jet fuel went way way up. Insurance for an airplane is very high. Owners of an f.b.o. handle a lot of money but just make ends meet. I dont think they are holding out to make money. Airlines are just trying to save their companys and jobs. Airlines go bankrupt a bunch, They try to keep prices down for people. It sucks when you feel like cattle in a cattle car!