the smack factor

In this instance some people are me.  mleh, bad grammar there.  I wasn’t going to blog about this because I felt like verbally i’d given it too much life already, but I think it’s important to get things out.  And well, maybe one of you can commiserate and I won’t feel like such a fruity pebble.  Almost a year ago i was laid off from a really sheisty, backstabbing, manipulative environment (didn’t start out that way, but talk about a poisonous VP/management chain, sheesh!).  trust went out the window and even “confidential” “safe” conversations were shared with others as bargaining chips.  Which has made me a little gun shy about opening up in my new environment.  Yes, work people, if you’re reading this - what you see now is actually a not fully open me.

However, I always tell friends and family that everyone deserves a clean slate.  No two people are the same and it’s unfair to assume that everyone around you will deteriorate into back stabbing hooker nazis.   In short burps I started building little pockets of work fun relationships.  I HAVE to have fun at work, it’s important for me to joke with people and smile - smiling at work feels good.  Like crack at church.  But once again, I completely misread someone.   I had so much fun at the Hollywood event, I got a chance to talk to our sales team more than I’m able too normally because they’re usually so dug into their jobs on a regular day.  And I was HAPPY about that.  I felt good, like now I’d connected with each pocket at work - and this would make it even easier to get the team internal blog started (because 80% of the people expressed a need for better/A internal comms channel).  One person in particular has persented himself as a tough nut to crack, but I felt on a friendship level I’d gotten in there.

Until yesterday, when my big boss came to my desk and said “What’s this thing.. about [thing]“  I was totally confused.  see, I had made a mockup joke blog header with a certain person’s face on it saying it was sponsored by a certain person.  It was VERY OBVIOUSLY a joke, something I thought we could laugh about because it also poked fun at mistakes I had made in some communications leading up to the event.    I had only sent it to the sales staff.  Which is why it never occurred to me that big boss would see it.  Which is why i was like a gaping hole of flies when big boss said “yeah, it wasn’t sent to me, it was a forward from someone else.”  BING.   I turned red, maybe purple.  Because now, not only was I outed for what i thought would be a fun little inside joke, but my secret project was outed too and now the secret upper hand I had (create it, make it awesome, launch it, then say “oh yeah….”) was now crammed up my ass as I fumbled to look like an unturd.    I briefly explained what I was doing, big boss reminded me that my job was not that, I said that this is something that i worked on when I got to it, no interruption to main stuff, and he said “ok, we’ll talk about it.”

Turns out salesturd (as we’ll call him now) forwarded it to NeckHemmoroid (as we’ll call the really assbag in this case) and said “look at this”.  Neck Hemmoriod is either so dumb and some completely devoid of a sense of humor OR is on a mission to get me canned because he forwarded it to Big Boss and said “is this something I should know about?”  You have GOT to be kidding me.  It was so blatantly a JOKE, but Neck Hemmoroid didn’t get it.  Or like I said, is on a mission.   I confronted salesturd who back peddaled and burbled some nonsense about not caring about social stuff at work, it didn’t bother him, etc.  I threw out the customary “I value my work relationships (which I fucking do) and I really wish you had come directly to me if this had bothered you instead of shooting it up the chain”.

“It didn’t bother me” - salesturd

“If it didn’t bother you, why did you forward it on” - me, shaking with anger and yes, stupidity

“Because I show Neck Hemmoroid everything - i forwarded it on just to say ‘look at this’”- salesturd

“Well Neck Hemmoroid forwarded it to Big Boss and then i’ve got him at my desk questioning me about something that was a joke.” - me, trying to stop the lip quiver unsuccessfully.  My face was purple anyway.

I walked away.  After breathing and getting my heart rate down I realized that there is a chance that it got lost between salesturd and Neck Hemorrhoid, so I’ll give salesturd the benefit of the doubt.  But that’s all he’ll get.  I only need to learn my lesson once.   I do not need to expose myself to situations where people can’t be trusted.  And even if salesturd means no harm, he’s cahooting with people who are either dumber than a bag of diaper rash and I will not put myself in the position to be backstabbed or bad mouthed.

Now I just hope Big Boss doesn’t think i’m sitting around doing nothing, just making faux blog headers and making the sales staff cry.