the smack factor

What a week this has been.  Couple of downs — like the first in awhile - but they didn’t get me as down as downs usually get me.  I think I’m getting better at managing my reactions to other people who I can’t control.  Its hard and I feel like this is the beginning of a long hard road, but it feels good to know that I can stave off boiling anger and depression that stems from a really insignificant moment in life.   Today I feel like I’m really paving my own little road to my own personal and professional success.  I always wanted to work in a really diverse environment, surrounded by creative people with real emotions and personalities - and I wanted to do what I love.   I am doing just that.  I guess I’m officially a columnist (gasp YEEHA!).  I just wrote my third little blurb for a trade publication (very slick, good humor, great writing - the mag! not me!) and the blurb now has an official name.

HELL YES I’m ecstatic.  I don’t think I’ll ever NOT be excited when the latest edition shows up all glossy at our office with my little words in it.  It’s mind blowing and surreal.  Makes me want to eat mushrooms and play nice with the triangle head dark figures.  Huh?   I also got a little hint that the photos I took at our event are getting some praise.  I recieved the warning:

“If you keep picking things up and doing them well, you’re going to be given more work…”

“AWESOME!!!” - me

the other person looked at me like I had three asses coming out of my nose.  Apparently on Monday I’m going to find out what my new chunk of responsibility is.

HELL YES I’m ecstatic!!  On top of that, I still get to do my work community building - and that has gotten a really warm response so far.  I think I really like.. no screw that, I love being the mother hen to a budding community.  I like helping them discover each other and what they can do.  I like being pleasant when answering their questions that start all hesitantly as if they’re afraid they’re bothering me.  It’s fun.  I’m not lying, I actually like it.

And I am finally feeling appreciated.  I don’t feel attacked and questioned with every move I make.  I’m asked for my opinion, I’m laughed at and made fun of by people who I feel I can call my friends, I am doing what I love and I’m actually being told that I’m good at it.

I’m not being told that nothing is ever good enough.

HELL YES I’m ECSTATIC.