the smack factor

I wish I was capable of creating my own recipes.  But I’m not.  I mean, we’re poor over here, so I’ve definitely thrown together shredded cheese, pasta, tomatoes, chicken, olive oil, and maybe some left over bacon chunks – but nothing I could write down and measurably admit to.  Thus, cook books.  For Christmas, I got a soup recipe book and, since I’m trying to cut the fat, I tried to pick a fat free soup – and I found it!

It’s called Winter Warmer Red Lentil Soup and here’s (Mike) the situation:

1 cup dried red lentils
1 red onion diced
2 large carrots sliced
1 celery stalk, sliced
1 parsnip (by the way, if you live in NYC, as I do, good luck finding a non wonky parsnip.  Sure, I could have gone to Whole Foods instead of Food Emporium, but who wants to spend 80 bucks on a damn parsnip?  Plus, I hate fighting hipsters and hippies for personal space)
1 garlic clove, crushed
5 cups vegetable stock (whoopsie, I only had 4 cups)
2 tsp paprika (without bugs)
pepper
1 tbsp snipped fresh chives, to garnish

The lentils, dry, no humor:

The red onion, halved, waiting for the chop!

Freakin’ parsnip: The internet told me that it should be firm.  Food Emporium told me that I should pick the least of all mushies.

Ok, so – you chop everyone and slice everyone – the onions, the carrots, the celery, the parsnip (which you should peel – I read that if you leave the skin on you’ll have a poopy belly, and no one wants that)

You gotta crush that garlic clove, which is one of my favorite things to do.  I love to place my Henckels chef’s knife flat over the glove and *SMaCKIT*, hearing the crunch as the clove’s clothes split off, releasing the greatest smell on earth. Mmmmm garlic.  Then, dump the paprika on the pile and you’re almost good to go:

The view from the underside:

I like to slap the “dry” ingredients into the pot first to see them in their colorful little orgy and then pour the wet ingredients in (this being the veggie stock, which I realized I didn’t have enough of, so I put 4 cups veggie stock and 1 cup of water).  I like when the force of the pour lifts the colorful dry ingredients up and down, eventually floating them together.  It’s like a dance.  If you can’t tell already, I love cooking, and it’s one of the only creative things I do right now that has absolutely no negative undertones (well, except making me fat… but you can still be creative with healthy recipes…or so they say!)

so everyone is plopped in – you bring it up to a boil for 10 minutes, then cover that food spa and simmer for 20 minutes.

after that final 20, if you’re sure the veggies are soft, start blending the chunks in batches in your food processer.  I have a blender and that worked fine.  the recipe says to blend in batches and then return the results to the original pan that is rinsed clean.  That means you need a limbo bowl big enough to hold the pureed parts before you transfer to the original pot.

I did it!  Once the pureed stuff is back in the pot, heat it all through, ladle it out, snip some chives over it and you’re good to go:

What I would change: Well one, I’d use the right ingredients.  It was pretty flavorful, but I have a feeling it would have been a bit more with that extra cup of veggie broth.  Because I’ve ruined my taste buds with coffee and alcohol, I always add red pepper, tobasco, or Frank’s Red Hot to my recipes.  I might do the same with this, but I’m trying to taste everything as it should be.  So that’s up to you.

The Boy Approval Scale: “This is actually good!” and he went for seconds right away.

For the carnivores: If you miss the meat, I suppose you could eat this with a spoon wrapped in beef tongue.